Wednesday, February 20, 2008
long time no see
I can't believe it has been almost a year since I last posted. where did the time go? so much has happened since then. Where do I even start?
Jane turned 5 and Ethan 9 this past December. I just turned 37 last month. More and more I am aware of time passing. I am starting to feel that there is an end to my time on earth. The awareness that I'm not invincible or that I'll live forever like you feel when you are young. I'm not saying I'm going to die soon, it's just like that little pinprick of light you see at the end of a long tunnel. There is still more tunnel but the end is now in sight.
I am getting eye muscle surgery next month. I have reached the extent of effectiveness wearing glasses. {Another sign of my age. }They don't help anymore. I am very excited to see again. Vision is central in my life. I learn visually. My enjoyment comes through vision. Books, art, nature. If you take vision from me you take my enjoyment out of life. This is why the eye surgery is so important to me.
This year has been very challenging. Jane is having problems, especially in school. I've had several conferences with her teacher and the school pychologist. She is going to be evaluated for speech and language and I think intelligence. Carlos and I even saw a child psychologist. She confirmed what Carlos and I suspected. Jane is not ready for kindergarten. She never should have been passed on to kindergarten. Unfortunately, the new york law said that at age 5 a child goes to kindergarten age six she goes to 1st grade. The school will fight against holding her back. [grrrr] I am very frustrated. The school psychologist and I think her teacher suspect abuse. she called me one time to ask where two bruised came from. Jane is a very active child. She always has bruises. The child psychologist said we should take her out of that school after she is tested. But then what? Everything is so expensive.
Jane turned 5 and Ethan 9 this past December. I just turned 37 last month. More and more I am aware of time passing. I am starting to feel that there is an end to my time on earth. The awareness that I'm not invincible or that I'll live forever like you feel when you are young. I'm not saying I'm going to die soon, it's just like that little pinprick of light you see at the end of a long tunnel. There is still more tunnel but the end is now in sight.
I am getting eye muscle surgery next month. I have reached the extent of effectiveness wearing glasses. {Another sign of my age. }They don't help anymore. I am very excited to see again. Vision is central in my life. I learn visually. My enjoyment comes through vision. Books, art, nature. If you take vision from me you take my enjoyment out of life. This is why the eye surgery is so important to me.
This year has been very challenging. Jane is having problems, especially in school. I've had several conferences with her teacher and the school pychologist. She is going to be evaluated for speech and language and I think intelligence. Carlos and I even saw a child psychologist. She confirmed what Carlos and I suspected. Jane is not ready for kindergarten. She never should have been passed on to kindergarten. Unfortunately, the new york law said that at age 5 a child goes to kindergarten age six she goes to 1st grade. The school will fight against holding her back. [grrrr] I am very frustrated. The school psychologist and I think her teacher suspect abuse. she called me one time to ask where two bruised came from. Jane is a very active child. She always has bruises. The child psychologist said we should take her out of that school after she is tested. But then what? Everything is so expensive.
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