Monday, November 9, 2009

Has it really been so long?
The kids and I are really sick. Painfully sick. Recovery is slow. I missed my workout today because of being sick.

For six weeks straight I've been exercising 3 days a week. That is really consistent for me. I'm going to try to do it on Wed. Hopefully I'll be better by then.

Lots has happened since last year. Our little branch has split into two branches. I'm Relief Society 1st counselor (actually, have been for a long time). Tough job. I try not to think about it too much otherwise I get overwhelmed. It is a tough branch.

Carlos is 2nd counselor in the branch presidency. He was called the end of September. I don't know how he can handle working 15 hour workdays plus this calling. But so far he hasn't collapsed.

We only have one car and Carlos takes it to work Mon. thru Thurs. I hate it being stuck. Last Thurs. Ethan was so sick I needed to take him to the doctor and I had no car. It took me till noon to find a ride to the doctor. It is so hard not having a car available.

The kids don't like school but they tolerate it. So far they haven't fought me about going to school, thank you very much. Jane is in 2nd grade and Ethan is in 5th. The school seems pretty good.

The kids have started planning their birthday parties. They wrote down the schedule, who to invite, what games to play, what food to eat, and what presents they want. It is pretty funny to read what they have planned. Now I just need a car to buy their presents.

My camera broke a long time ago so no more photos. Sometimes it's a real bummer but part of me is relieved-no more photos to have to deal with. We already have albums full of photos that nobody even looks at.

Autumn has been nice here. Pretty mild so far. The leaves are pretty. I actually haven't been outside very much.

That's all for now. I'm tired.


Sunday, November 30, 2008

Ethan's Birthday Party

Ethan decided he wanted to celebrate his birthday last Friday. He decided this last Sunday. We went out on Wed. and purchased his gifts. He didn't have school so unfortunately I had to bring him with me. On Friday he had a treasure hunt to find his gifts. I hid them and make clues up to find each gift. On the gift was taped the clue to the next gift. He liked figuring out the clues to find his gifts. I like this making him work for his gifts. He wanted pizza for his special meal so we brought home Dominos. He wanted an ice cream cake for his cake. All in all I think it went well. Since he picked out his gifts he wasn't disappointed and played with two of them for hours. (Most of them were books.) I like these simple family parties. I can't believe my little boy is now a strapping young lad of 10! (actually his birthday is not till Dec. 2nd, but still, 10!)

10 Things I love about Ethan
  1. he's so darn cute.
  2. his imagination is amazing.
  3. he is such a deep thinker.
  4. he is an incredible drawer.
  5. he is so tenderhearted.
  6. he has the best laugh in the world.
  7. his smile lights up my world.
  8. he is incredibly intelligent.
  9. he is so funny without even trying.
  10. he is the best son a mother could have.
I love you, Ethan!

Hi April. If you want to see more of my work click on the scrap in style link. On their home page click on "sisters" then type in kacijackson to see my profile and portfolio.

Today a lot more people signed up to bring food for the party on Sat. so I feel a lot better. For some reason I'm not so nervous. If it flops it flops, if it succeeds it succeeds. I'm doing the best I can.

Got some big news in the works. Can't discuss till later.

Hope everyone had a happy Thanksgiving. We went to a buffet. It was far away and we didn't know exactly where it was. We had a hard time finding it. Then Carlos said this was it. It said OTB on the building. (Carlos said it stood for Old Time Buffet, the name of the buffet). It looked like a strange building and there were tons of security cameras all around it. As we were walking up to it I thought that cameras were strange. Maybe the area was bad? But, no windows? We opened the door and the smell of cigarette smoke was stifling. Carlos realized his mistake.
OTB- Off Track Betting. We got back in the car and called the buffet. We eventually made it to the correct place. Food was okay. But I didn't have to cook it or clean up so okay is okay with me.

Afterwards we went to the movies and saw Madagascar 2. Not very good in my opinion. Don't waste your money. Wait till it hits the library. We had fun being together though.

Yesterday was our 12 year anniversary. For awhile there I didn't think we were going to make it. If we make it to 19 I'll beat my parents on length of marriage. We went to Olive Garden to celebrate with the kids. We don't know anybody to babysit so we celebrated it with the kids. Ethan was very happy we did so. Every year that Carlos and I go out alone he complains that we never celebrate with him. He got his wish this year.

What is the weather like in CT? It is rainy, windy and cold here. This morning we had sleet.

Hope you all have a great week.

Friday, November 21, 2008

This is an old picture of the house we took when we were still thinking about moving here. I don't have any new pictures because I'm having issues with my computer uploading photos from my camera. If I could put rooms on my scanner I could get some pictures of the inside of the house for you, but unfortunately they don't fit on my scanner-too big and bulky.

Tice, where are you living now? Is it cold were you guys are? The last couple of weeks have been freezing.

Try putting up a 14 foot trampoline in freezing weather. The fingers get awfully numb. My trampoline assembly was quite a bit of a laugh. Carlos and I took down the net posts 3 times and still the net is crooked. I'm not undoing and redoing 72 springs. I could barely do them the first time. In fact, if Lizzy's friend Thomas hadn't helped we'd still be attaching springs. The whole thing took over a week to do. We had about 3 days of rain. Then Liz left but Thomas didn't (a long story) and so I did as much as I could by myself. I had to wait until this past Wed. so Carlos would be home to help. I actually like assembling most things. The directions were ridiculous.

I just made cookies tonight. We have an enrichment tomorrow and we are suppose to bring 3 dozen cookies to exchange. Let me just preface by saying I'm not a baker. I have a recipe that makes 112 cookies. About half way through I realized I don't have a bowl that is even close to being big enough. I called my landlady next door to see if she had a bowl big enough. She asked me why I didn't make two batches. Uhhhh, cause I didn't think of it? Luckily she had a huge bowl she let me borrow. I finished making the required number of cookies and froze the rest of the dough. The dough was too dry so they crumbled when I tried to put them on the pan. We have a new oven because the old broke (very long story) and it's temperature is off. The outside burns and the inside is raw. Now I remember why I hate to bake.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

a love affair

My husband just laughs at me because I absolutely love Cesar Millan, The Dog Whisperer. I don't own a dog. In fact, I am allergic to animal dander. I love listening and reading and watching him in action. I think I love his assertiveness and confidence. I so wish I were like that. Some of what he says seems to apply to raising children. But mostly, it is the calm assertiveness and confidence that I just soak up.

Do you have a love affair like mine?

My sister, Lizzy, visited me for a few days last week. I haven't really spent time with her for decades. It was so nice to be with her. She is moving to Norway for the next 9 years to attend college and medical school for free. She doesn't even speak the language. I admire my sister's boldness, determination and strength. I am so proud of how far she has come. She has been through horrible things. Lizzy is amazing. I love you and miss you already. I believe in you.

My new challenge is to organize the ward Christmas dinner party for 120 people. Mind you I've never even cooked a holiday dinner in my entire life. Now I'm organizing a dinner for over a hundred. This should be fun.

Monday, November 10, 2008

1 year left

I just read this book called Deadline. The 18 year-old in the story finds out he only has a year left to live. He opts for no treatment since he would only have a small chance of a remission for a small period of time. He also decides not to tell anyone so he can have a "normal" year. Ben, the boy, chooses to do all the things he was too scared to do like go out for football (even though he is very small for his age); ask out the out-of-his-league girl; and stand up for truth in his government class.

My question to you is: What would you do with your last year of life and would you tell anybody you were dying?

The question intrigues me.

I don't think I would take treatment either. As far as telling people, I'm not sure. I might not tell right away to have a few months of normalcy.

What would I do?...I would definitely want to visit all my family to say good-bye and I love you. Hopefully, I'd get to say good-bye to friends as well.
I think I would try to meet and take a class from my favorite artists. Maybe travel to England.

What things am I too scared to do now? What would I do if I had nothing to lose like Ben?

The thought just occurred to me. Why do anything at all? Why grasp at straws so to speak? Do I cram a life into one year or just take it easy? I don't know.

Something to think about.

Saturday, November 8, 2008


I love my new home. I love all the space, all the counters, two bathrooms, the huge yard, the trees and beaches, just about everything.

I've actually been able to create a lot since I've been here. I haven't been able to do that in years.

I think the kids are adjusting reasonably well. Ethan had his first playdate today. I think he enjoyed himself.

I'm still trying to arrange one for Jane.

Carlos has a hard time getting up in the morning. About two days a week I take him to a train station about an hour away so he doesn't have to get up so early.

I've gained weight and back fat since I moved. Walking up 3 flights of stairs and walking everywhere made a big difference. Now my butt is sore from driving so much.

We are getting a large trampoline so the kids (and me) can be more active. I'm excited to jump. I haven't been on a tramp. in I don't know how many years.

I took an 5 day online class with Ashley Wren. I absolutely loved it. She has such great ideas to keep the creative juices flowing. I wish the class was longer. If I can figure out how I'll post some pictures of the art journal entries.

Gotta go.


Friday, September 19, 2008

we're moving

This is for Kassie. I could only upload a few of the vacation pictures. I'll upload some more later.

We are moving to Mattituck, Long Island. We are going to rent a nice big house with a nice big backyard and a nice big kitchen with counters and dishwasher and with a washer and dryer.Space, glorious space. I want to leave the house as empty as possible for a while just so I can absorb all that spaciousness.

Getting there is stressful. No renters found yet to take over our contract so we won't have to pay two rents. No car. Difficult to register the kids in the new school. Difficult to find boxes and pack when I have to keep the place immaculate for showings to get it rented. All that while still taking kids to and from school, meals, grocery shopping, cub scouts, and karate. If I can survive this I'll be living the high life (that's what I keep telling myself).

The town is small and quaint. We are one mile from the south shore and just under two miles to the North shore. I plan on doing a lot of beach walking while the kids are in school. Oh, and a school bus will pick them up and bring them home (school is in the next town) so they will be occupied for a glorious seven hours. I'll be able to breath fresh air. I won't have to find a place for us to go in the summer because we'll be living in that kind of place.

We move October 1st. It was a last minute decision. I'll sure miss my friends here. The biggest reason I hate moving (even more than the packing and all that) is leaving behind my friends. I have a hard time making friends. It does not come easy to me so when I leave it hurts to leave the people I love and care about. I also know that it will be hard for me to make new friends. At least I have church. That makes it a little easier for me.

Cub Scouts was rough today. The boys were so hyper. I really didn't get anything done that I had planned because they wouldn't settle down or listen. Then, just before we left to go home, Jane and Ethan have a big clash of the Titans episode. I had to hold onto Jane to keep her from attacking and bothering Ethan. That out of her mind and control behavior drives me nutty. I think I remained somewhat calm.

I'm exhausted. Good-night.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008


This Sunday the family and I are going to upstate New York for a week's vacation. Very happy to go. We are going to take a few trips into Canada. That reminds me, I need to bring extra batteries for the camera. I hate packing. I procrastinate till the last minute. Here in our abode it is even worse because there is no place to put the suitcases while packing except in the middle of the living room floor.

I won't be blogging till I get back about mid August. Have a happy August.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Hidy Ho all.

I am so happy because our refrigerator was fixed today. It broke on the 4th which made fixing a special 4th of July meal difficult. It is an interesting experience not having a freezer at all and the fridge part not work very well. I kept asking myself what people did before freezers and such.

The kids are doing well in Karate. This is so good for them. They are learning respect, self-discipline and exercising to keep their bodies healthy. The price seems expensive but when you break it down it is actually a good deal, especially here in Manhattan. At this point I am still too chicken to do it myself. Maybe once the kids are back in school I'll take lessons too. I'd be discounted because two from the family are already taking lessons. We'll see. I'll let you know how it goes.

Carlos got braces. I feel like I am married to a teenager. Seeing the braces brings back so many memories. No gum, no corn on the cob, aching teeth, cut cheeks, funny sounding talking. I'm glad that the experience is over with. Of course it was worth it for my fantastically straight gorgeous teeth. Luckily, Carlos only has them on the bottom row of teeth. The dentist said that he had too much space which was causing the teeth to constantly shift around. As a result the bone never solidified. If he doesn't have it taken care of he will loose his teeth. Not a good thing.

Ethan's drawings are becoming more and more complex and detailed. He truly is an artist. We all love looking at his creations. Right now he is interested in drawing inventions and Spiderwick creatures. Funny boy.

Jane is such a good example to me. She keeps her room so neat and organized. She even enjoys picking up and organizing the boys room! Lucky for Carlos and Ethan who don't seem to enjoy doing it themselves. Jane got a haircut and she looks soo cute. She works very hard on staying healthy by exercising everyday and brushing her teeth. She is amazing.

We are going on a trip in August to upstate New York. There is a cheap cabin that we are renting for a week. I'm really excited because it is cooler up there and there are trees and nature and stuff. It is right on the border so we are going to visit Canada while we are up there. For the kids there is a pool so we can go swimming every day. I'm counting down the days.

I'm starting to read this book called ADD-Friendly ways to Organize Your Life. It seems that I might just have ADD or at least have many of the symptoms. For example, I try to do everything at the same time and as a result I overextend myself and burnout. Then of course I don't finish the task. I also easily get off-track, like when I go to clean up and see a magazine that I haven't read and before I know it I've spent the last 30 minutes reading it. Another big one for me is what they call going into micro-focus. This is sooo me. I get lost in the details instead of focusing on the main task. And it's true for me that many times this happens as a way to block out the overwhelming feelings. Another symptom is that I have a poor sense of time. I underestimate or overestimate the time a task will take. I get stuck and resist moving on to the next task. In kid terms I don't transition well. Another symptom that Carlos will readily agree to is that I have a tendency to over complicate things. It is always surprising to find yourself described in a book.

Have a good night.

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Yesterday was the last day of cub scouts until the fall. I am so very happy. We had an end of the year party. I think it went well. Ethan earned his wolf badge and a golden arrow. Very proud of him.

We also had the conference with the school about Jane yesterday. I think it went well. Jane will receive speech and language help and social/emotional therapy. As far as academics she is average so they would refuse to hold her back. Carlos is extremely angry about how they messed up Jane's school year. So, Jane will go to first grade in the fall with special services to help.

The social worker, school psychologist, teacher and special ed. coordinator all recommended that we go to family therapy to help. We are having a very difficult time with Ethan as well. I really want for us to go because I'm at my wits end. Something is really wrong when you are miserable around your family and try to avoid spending time with them.

I volunteered to help stuff envelopes and pack bags for the stake youth conference. It was fun. I like doing that kind of stuff. The theme for this year is "Amazing Grace." It is based on the tv show which I've never seen. From what I gather the kids have to race around the city to collect things. Pretty intense. My youth conferences were quite tame.

Carlos has reserved a week up at a place call Pineherst. It is in the Thousand Lakes region on the NY/Canadian border. I looking forward to cooler temperatures and getting out of the city.

Thank you for your condolences. I think you are right, April, about it taking time.

Can't think of anything else. Until next time.

Saturday, May 31, 2008

hair, beach, training, and death

Here is my haircut. Only looked like that the day it was cut. Can't seem to blow dry my hair straight.

We went on a family vacation from May 17th to the 24th. It was our turn for our time share at the beach house in Westerly, RI. We had a really good time. Even though it was freezing we got to swim in the indoor pool many days. It is so relaxing to hear the sound of ocean waves. It was so nice to have an apartment with counters and everything was newish and clean. What I loved most about going there was not having to keep up with the crazy frantic pace of the city. I have to admit it was very very difficult coming back. I still haven't adjusted. I feel so lethargic and unmotivated.

On the way back from vacation since we had a car we went to IKEA. Things just weren't working in our apt. so we bought Ethan a loft bed with a desk underneath, Jane a toddler bed, a drop-leaf table, shelves (which we still haven't put up because we are still recovering from putting together the beds.) and some nice curtains for the windows and nice pictures for the wall. Carlos was the designer and decided he was sick of looking at our ugly apt. He did an excellent job.

I'm suppose to go through things and get rid of a lot of stuff. I keep procrastinating because I don't want to make all those decisions as to what to give up and what to keep and where the heck do we put it. Maybe by the end of summer I'll have things relatively organized.

I was at a cub scout leader training meeting for nearly 4 hours today. Very overwhelming. I've got to love the boys (which I don't and struggle with) and be excited about all the excessive work I need to do because we haven't been doing all that we are suppose to do. The Lord is really turning the thumb-screws on me.

My grandfather, Boppa, in Florida finally died May 4th. It's funny how you can not really miss someone until they are dead. I feel a bit numb right now. Still processing his passing.

Can't think of anything else. What are your summer plans?

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

I got my hair cut today. My hair grows fast but when I let it get long it looks ratty and frizzy. I had it cut short-I think it is a bob. I probably won't be able to get it to look as good as when the hair dresser did it. I don't have the equipment or talent when it comes to hair or make up, for that matter. Still, it feels so good to be free of excess hair. Like a heavy, hot burden has been lifted. My hair looks good to me even if my family doesn't like it. I'll post a picture soon, I hope.

Another rough day with the kids, particularly Jane. I hope tomorrow will be better.

go well.

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